The Difficulties of Parenting a Bipolar Child
Determing How to Parent a Child Who Suffers From Bipolar Disorder
Apr 28, 2009
When a child is two or three-years-old and throws tantrums, this is to be expected, as it's a normal phase in child development. But what happens when those tantrums don’t fade with age, but rather grow stronger and more violent as the child ages? This is how it is for children who suffer from bipolar disorder.
Simple questions, such as, “What are we having for dinner,” can turn into a violent meltdown if not answered the way the child expects. Providing discipline and a sound structure for such a child is not for the faint of heart.
Bipolar Tantrum in Children
As with any child it is often easier to give in rather than say no and deal with the consequences. However, with a bipolar child, saying "no" is often the trigger for a meltdown.
This is not the meltdown of a two-year-old. A bipolar tantrum can last for hours and can increase to such volatile behavior including destroying property, hurting oneself, or inflicting damage on parents or siblings.
Fortunately, there are some measures that parents of bipolar children can take to help cope with the child's behavior.
Establish Rules
Standard discipline methods including time outs, grounding, taking away privileges, earning privileges, or even spanking, often do not work with bipolar children. Nevertheless it is important to establish rules and abide by them.
As with any child, stability is important, but for a bipolar child stability is essential: bipolar children thrive on routine according to the American Journal of Psychiatry. However for a parent of a bipolar child, providing that stability requires creativity and flexibility.
Provide Written Rules
In an article entitled, "Disciplining a Bipolar Child is Not an Easy Task," on Associated Content in September 2008, Gary Davis suggests writing the rules down on paper. This way when rules are broken, the argument of injustice is not valid; the agreed upon rules are simply being enforced.
If rules are questioned after they have been written down, set up a family time to discuss them and perhaps change them. Remind a child that you are the parent and you will listen to their concerns, but ultimately it is your role and job to make the final decision.
Expect a bipolar child to occasionally throw a tantrum after hearing no. It is not the time to enforce discipline when a child is in the middle of a tantrum. During a tantrum help him/her to get out of it. Hold him, make sure he is safe, restrain him if necessary and help him choose wise ways of displaying his anger.
Once he has calmed down, explain the rules that you had established on paper and enforce them with love. This sounds so simple, thought it is anything but.
The road of parenting a bipolar child is difficult. There is no set way that works for every child. It is a game of trial and error. Flexibility is essential as a bipolar child is a person whose personality is constantly changing. One method may work one day and the very next day the same method will not.
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